DonTonberry’s Review

Right people, here it is. My first published article on! Some of you may know me, some of you may not. Frankly with my over inflated ego and sense of self-importance, I would be mildly upset that anyone reading this article doesn’t know who the legendary DonTonberry is.

After being asked to write an article by our Fuhrer MentaL, I thought long and hard about what it is I have to say about the MMORPG world. Plenty of ideas flowed through my awesomely advanced brain, ideas such as:

  • Reviewing current market leading games.
  • Reviewing down-right awful games.

Now I know that is only two ideas, but give me a break it was 00:30hrs and I wasn’t on top form. However, before settling on one of those two, but brilliant, ideas – I had a brainwave. A brainwave so powerful it would have given Albert Einstein a brain aneurysm! I, DonTonberry, was going to write about issues that affect the MMORPG market as a whole, that way I could be as vague as I wanted to be and actually put out an article without having to do some other journalistic stuff, like research and all that jazz.

Once I had the focus of my article, I had to put together my first article, and here it is!

Massively Multiplayer Role Playing Games: What the hell has gone wrong with the market?

Massively Multiplayer Role Playing Games, the very sight of these words bring up images of vastness, openness and probably massiveness. To someone on the outside looking in, you would think that the term would mean that there is a plethora of varying games, in all shapes and sizes on offer to satisfy the pasty skinned, bright light hating masses who play these types of games. But as someone who is one of those people, I and yourselves can tell these ignorant people, who live life and have good jobs and partners, that they are completely wrong!

Throughout the upcoming weeks, I will spend a portion of my highly valuable time on educating you noobs as to why the MMORPG market is in a bad state. This week is just an opener, comparing merely the surface of some of the biggest MMORPGs out there now, for example lets take for instance two of the highest rated MMORPGs on the market at this moment in time, World of Warcraft by Blizzard Entertainment and The Lord of the Rings Online, by Turbine. Both have different intellectual properties, both have a big following and both had massive budgets. Let’s compare two screenshots, one taken from each game.

Now before you people start emailing me going “But DonTonberry, theze pikturs r frm da sme game u n00b!” take great comfort from that fact that I know they are, and this article is a little on the satirical side. However, the point remains the same. Two completely different games, two different companies and two different backstories to the game, and they end up being completely the same.

Why have we, as a customer base, allowed big companies like this to get away with putting out games that when stripped down of all their fancy models, sounds and gloss, turn out to be the same game. I am not the only one to see this, I cannot be the only one who gets a little frustrated at this. Let me prove my point once more, this time with real screenshots from two different games.

Prison Tale 2

Lineage II

And once again, no emails stating “But DonTonberry, theze 2 games uze da sme make ov engyn muthafu****” because once again, I know this. I am DonTonberry, certified genius. Does this give an excuse to companies to repackage the same game and throw it out there into the market to let us, paying customers, line their pockets? No, I don’t think it does! Would we allow the movie industry to do this? No we wouldn’t, and generally we don’t – except sometimes hack directors are allowed to put out films so tightly based on an older film that they could be twins, Avatar and Pochahontos anyone?

Ever noticed what happens when you start a new MMORPG? You get that hope building inside of you as you see the download percentage crawl it’s slow ass to 100%, that hope grows when you are creating your account, it grows even more when you create your character, selecting the same class you have probably used in 4 or 5 other MMORPGs and then it explodes as the loading screen is displayed! Then, your big ass balloon of hope has the air let out slightly when you realise that the combat system is the same, the questing system is the same and more than likely, the legions of mobs you are going to spend hours committing genocide against are cousins of the mobs you destroyed in another MMORPG. A little more air is released when you realise that you have hours and hours of the same monotonous grind ahead of you and then by the time you reach maximum level, your once big ass balloon is nothing more than a sorry ass looking deflated balloon because you realised that the end-game is exactly the same as the very first time you logged in, except without that magic of hope. You realise that the game became stale, and when you look a little deeper, you realise that the whole goddamn market is as stale as this:

At the weeks go by, and the days get darker and the nights get colder, I will be delving into this subject more and more, breaking down gameplay features that pretend to be new, yet aren’t – like combat, crafting, guild and PvP etc. Next week, if you people decide that this article is worth reading, I will sink my teeth into MMORPG Combat.

Lots of Love,